A Sincere Sorry and Forgiveness.

This purpose is dedicated to sumone who might not actually come to read this blog but still I really dont know where I can express this sorry-ness and forgiveness. It is juz here that I can actually type all I want and let go of everything. Yes indeed I lost sumthing reallie precious to me lately although that particular person do not how it or don't even bother about it. I really have no idea anymore. To trade a secret for sumthing so high in price, I do start to doubt it. I did what I think I suppose to do and yet I know I cant satisfy everyone. I have no right to ask for anything actually. It is my wrong doing. Perhaps what I did was reallie wrong after all. I havta bear the consequencce of all this. The pain in the heart is just so hard to accept. Tried my best to recover, but I know it's kinda impossible already. What is done is done. Will everything be that way forever?. I seriously do hope not.. I dun wan it to be part of the dark life i ever had so far. We are talking about all this friendship, committment, work and all these. It's being a tough road. If I were to be able to do sumthing, I will reallie do it. It's been a long way seriously and am I just a person that you look through from the outer side only? I guess the trust is not there after all. I cant achieve the trust from a person that I suppose to. Its is the faliure of mine. Sincere sorry and forgiveness....

In doubt...

Have u ever stop a while and start to think whether what you have done all these while is right?. I guess everyone needs to go this part of life after all. Never come about it till lately. What that I have done so far is right or wrong. In the eyes of many people, what i did lately might be sound unacceptable to them. I think the consequence for this stuff is far within what I can accept at times. It's reallie not easy to undergo the route I am taking now. Am I so insensitive in taking care peoples feeling?. Am I doing something things that I not suppose to do after all?. All this question pops out lately. I seriously need to think about all these things that is happening rite now again.. Perhaps it is my failure in doing what I am suppose to do.......

On Going...

My mind seems to be thinking alot today. I wish I had not think what i suppose to be but I guess no one can run away from trouble after all. Used to be in the making-decision position for a long time. Kind of tired of it.Sometimes I wish they wont be anything for me to think and have a week off from all the issue. Everything seems to be hard after out of sudden. Have been strict and tough to the people around me but am I been too tough to myself? I wish I am not but things do get more n more complicated nowadays. Perhaps I really need a break...

Chronology of PHC - Part 1

This will be the first edition of the tribute to Public Health Campaign so far. I will try to recal as much as possible from the 1st second of it. 8th Annual PHC. This particular sentence comes into my life when I got the VP post in the UCSIPSS last year. Well didn't expect much on it but again lets get down to business. Experience from the seniors that it will be a tough event to organize but how TOUGH could it be? Well the tough-ness doesnt really showed at the beginning. It all started with the formation of the ad-hoc committee as far as I remembered. The first stage of this event doesnt really involved alot of people as the 3 main key person that actually started the ball rolling. Proposal and budget was our biggest concern at that particular time. Things going on smoothly with the proposal been rejected and re-submt throughout the things. Nothing much can be done so far but one thing that need to be highlighted was the turning point of this particular event. From 1 proposal, a decision had multiplied the work 3x. 3 PHC for the term 2009?. Wat the heck? 1 not enough? nowww. 3?..not enough of KL?...Going Pandamaran? and Taiping?.. This particular decision really changed the course of the route that we took.  Everything has gone up and I start to believe that one man cant do everything.. Seriously, 3 events on the same p[rogramme to promote health campaign to the public seems to be a very interesting work for the community but the process undergoing is very hard to explain with words. ....

Feelings...

Have u ever wonder what you actually achieved in ur life?. Wonder that at times and sad to say not much of a achievement can be put under my belt but atleast i am still living and I will still have the chance to add my collection =). Used to be a small kid thinking nonsense and what to achieve life long. I guess things will go smoother if u least expected it. A lot of suprises came into life without noticing. Interestly, it passed without you noticing it at times but eventually when u flash back, you actually wonder why would you missed those stuff that is so important in you life. Whats next? Feeling Regret? Feeling suprise?. Feeling annoyed?..All those time used for this kind of silly thinking can actually be used to sleep, eat and sleep again lol.. Nonsense thinking plus a bit of tears and sadness will eventually build to the serious case of suicidial. What else could be worse than that? We lived for so long and decided to end our life for silly stuff. The price of the soul we had can be measured by a hand? a basket? It takes life time to actually go through the processes. Looking forwards a wonderful life ahead 

Committment

What is committment?. To me. it's a word that is so subjective that it really depends on the individual itself. To be frank, it is something that I am still working out with. Committment usually comes with sacrifices. No doubt, human will always sacrifice for what they always dreamt of but how many are able to acheive what they ever wanted in life? 1? 10? 100?. The figure is very insignificant compared to what that is occupying the Earth now. How about me?. Pehaps I wouldn't say I am a very ambitious person but I do come with dreams with the hope of getting success in life. Life is pretty simple but we make it complicated most of the times. We grow stronger with a strength from the love we obtained from the people that care about us, sacrifices from the people we love and of all the committment we are talking about. My 21 years in this world had been tested with committment in studies, work and relationship but I never actually get the meaning of this world. Is it the willingness to sacrifice for something is what you called COMMITTMENT?. To me, it is not as simple as that. When we talk about committment, it comes with care,love and braveness. Committment is meaningless without bravery. If a step in life is so hard to make, think about those who had always wanted to make a step but barrier prevented all this. When we actually doubt of ourselves, think about those who always wanted to be themselves but the chance is not even there for them. When we are looking people at a sinful manner, think about those who wanted to just fill up the stomach with whatever they had with them. Strength of committment will always be within us =)